Well, we're well into the New Year and I'm curious - how's it going?
Think back to New Years Eve - the hope, the excitement, the anticipation of a fresh new start. Recall the intentions and commitments set - are you honoring them?
In an effort to honor my commitments this year, I want to share with you the work that I'm doing in my life, in my heart. I'm thinking, virtual accountability buddy.
The shift from one year into the next is a very special time for me. I adore traditions and rituals that take normal moments and transform them into incredibly special and magical ones. So, naturally New Year's Eve is my jam.
Before I usher in the New Year by toasting champagne, holding my nose and eating raw herring and kissing my man, I reflect + reset. This tradition, this ritual, was organically grown from deep within my soul. Something that I just realized I needed one year and it's stuck with me ever since. I value it so much that after my own time reflecting + resetting, every New Year's Eve I lead others through the process. This year was extra special because I was joined by one of my favorite human beings, Tori Washington. Some of you were there, THANK YOU for coming. For those that missed it, a little bird mentioned that it might happen seasonally...stay tuned. (photos below are the altars from R+R along with the burn box)
But, I digress. Commitments, honoring them, being held accountable...
Part of my ritual on NYE is to unearth a Sankalpa for the New Year. My 2017 Sankalpa (a yogic concept that means a very deep seeded intention) is to trust. Last year, I worked on moving through this thing called life motivated by desire and love instead of fear. After a year's worth of work, I felt like I was getting the hang of listening in to my heart's deepest desires and choosing to follow them even if it meant taking the road way less traveled. But, what I realized was that while I intellectually 'got it,' my head and my heart were still not aligned.
I was passionately committed to my daily Sadhana (practice) that included movement, breathwork and meditation...lots of meditation. I was listening to everything that bubbled up and making choices in my work and in my relationships based on what I heard. But once the choice was made, I questioned. I second guessed myself. I worried. I thought up the worst case scenario and convinced myself it was going to happen because I was choosing to follow my intuition instead of following my intellect.
And so this year, I'm choosing to trust.
I'm shedding the label 'worrier' because I am finally ready to listen in, do the necessary work and then sit back and let it all unfold. I'm a highly strategic, organized and analytical person. And these inherent traits have served me well professionally, but when they aren't coupled with TRUST, they are EXHAUSTING.
When I was a child, my parents instilled in me the belief that I could do anything I put my mind to, that I was incredibly capable if only I believed. Again, my head got it - "work hard and you can do anything," but my heart just wasn't on board yet - I didn't get the part about believing in myself. I attached to the more tangible part of achieving - the doing part. I excelled in sports, I was President of Student Council and Valedictorian of my class. And I was also overworking myself, ridden with stress and coping with poor eating habits (we'll save that for another post).
As I transitioned from college to the professional world, I was told time and time again how tenacious I was, how disciplined and talented I was. But, all that hard work was without follow up - without trust in the outcome. As someone who grew up in a bowling center (family business), I knew the value of follow up. You could walk up the to the lane strategically, throw the ball intentionally, but if after the release there wasn't a graceful follow up, you weren't getting a strike. Same is true in life.
When I made the shift from 9-5 to teaching yoga full time, it was a huge leap of faith. I was following my intuition, my heart. I knew this was not only what I wanted, but what I needed, what I was called to do. But, I've been questioning myself ever since. While this path is incredibly rewarding, it's not easy. On quite a few occasions I scrolled through marketing gigs, updated my professional resume and contemplated throwing the towel in. The thought of salary and benefits was pretty tempting. I didn't trust that I could make it on the road much less traveled. But, I'm coming around. I've got a pretty direct line to the wisdom of my heart. Last year I did the work on that piece. And now this year...
It's a practice - on and off the mat. I am blessed to be supported by so many people who believe in me - my parents, my boyfriend, my friends, my colleagues, my teachers, the communities I teach in. Now it's my turn to believe in me.
I'm giving you full permission to call me out if you notice me questioning myself, worrying about a farfetched outcome or overanalyzing a situation. Accountability is a huge part of growth.
So, what are you working on this year?
I'm happy to return the favor and help hold you accountable. Just shoot me an email with your 2017 Sankalpa and I'll be sure to check in virtually or in person (if you are a regular in class) throughout the year.
2017...we got this thing!